I think people need to know why certain aspects in the synastry chart can lead to abuse. I will try to explain some of these to you. People seem really interested in this topic with good reason. One can save oneself a lot of heartache with a little foreknowledge. In my own case, I would never enter into any permanent relationship in which the chart shows abuse.
1. Nessus
The first asteroid one must consider is the asteroid of abuse, which is Nessus. Remember that asteroids much have close orbs. I use up to three degrees in a conjunction and two degrees in other aspects. I think any aspect with Nessus has to be attended to, even the trine but for now, we will discuss the conjunctions and hard aspects–the square, quincunx and opposition.
The Nessus person will be the stronger person except in cases of Pluto, in which it the power would be balanced. In the case of the Sun and Mars, the planet person will fight back the Nessus person but the Nessus person will, likely, be stronger In the case of the Moon, the angles( Ascendant, IC, Descendant and MC, the North Node, the South Node and Venus, the Nessus person will overpower the other person.
If one is the Nessus person, one will know that one does really wield the power in the relationship. It is an inner knowing. If you check your charts, you will see what I mean.If one is the planet person, one will feel uneasy with the Nessus person, although this may not be a conscious awareness.
A Nessus relationship can last. In fact, the Nessus person could be abused in some situations. This would be the case with a wife who chooses to stay with an abusive husband or a child who cannot fight a parent. However, if the Nessus person ever does find his power, he will usually exact revenge on the person who abused him. I am just being real here. I know many people want fairy tales but I am not the right astrologer for you if this is what you want.
2.Dejanira
This is the victim asteroid. If this asteroid conjuncts any personal part of the chart of a native such as the Sun, Ascendant, Moon, Venus etc, one will tend to be victimized. It is a deep and subconscious manner of seeing oneself in relationship to others. The native is not usually aware of this but other people are. Also, to make it more complicated, someone with a prominent Dejanira may be strong due to other factors such as a strong Pluto. In this case, the person can be both the victim and someone who fights back. One would need to have as astrologer, who was honest *Cough* study the entire chart. An astrologer can weigh all of the aspects and come up with a practical picture of the person.
In synastry, if one person has a strong Dejanira and an otherwise passive/weak chart and meets up with a strong Nessus person, there will be an abuse problem. It usually is not evident at first. In fact, the attraction is phenomenal. However, with Nessus and Dejanira, believe me, all good things must come to an end. Enjoy it while you are hanging from the chandelier because the next day, you may be getting a restraining order.
3. Mars Square Pluto
This aspect in synastry is pure passion but the passion gets too intense and abuse may result. I would say that this is a violence aspect. I cannot say all relationships will have bodily violence but there will be emotional abuse. Pluto is the stronger but Mars is a good fighter and will not take abuse lying down, so to speak. Hence, the problem.
4. Saturn–Cold Abuse
I cannot say Saturn is overt abuse. However, in several conjunctions and oppositions and squares, the Saturn person can be so annoying, dominating and critical that the other person could slug them. Saturn is the critical parent. If Saturn conjuncts Mars in synastry, the Saturn will criticize and diminish the goals and desires of the Mars person. Sexually, the Saturn person could make sex a joyless chore.
In the case of Venus/Saturn in conjunction or hard aspect, the Saturn person could be very critical of the appearance of the Venus person or of the mannerisms of the Venus person. I could write several pages on Saturn but in hard aspect and conjunction, think of cold water. However, in trine and in certain conjunctions, such as Saturn conjunct the North Node, the Saturn could be a benevolent parent.
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